Ladies, Don’t Let Your MOUTH Write A Check Your VAGINA Can’t Cash
“I swallowed this punk-nigga last night and I can’t even get an e-mail today?”
Is it just me, or when you go on certain blogs and websites [or even read certain magazines] and you see “Letters to the Editors” or “Dear [insert website name here]” you think to yourself “ain’t nobody ask these fools for their opinion”, but I’m glad to say a young lady I know wrote me an email that she wanted me to address on this site – which I usually would NOT do, but I had to in this case because she is addressing a problem MANY women go through – when you let your MOUTH write a check your NANI can’t cash.
Here is her story below:
So I met this guy, and from what it seemed like we were totally hitting it off.. he would comment on how great we would look together he would talk about the future, he’d call me baby and would know all the right things to say..
So after a week, we met up for a movie at his place.. Didn’t end up finishing the movie, as my panties were on the floor in like 20 min.. I couldn’t help myself the mood was right he had all the right moves.. blah blah blah.. I did tell him that I didn’t want to have sex right away because I thought that it would ruin things but I gave in and I think it has ruined things
I want to talk to him and ask him why he’s been so distant. I’m really not into playing games and he totally led me on to believe that he wanted a relationship.. I went from getting msg’s from him all day to 3 yesterday.. We used to talk for hours and when I called yesterday I got his voicemail..Did I do something wrong?! I really liked this guy A LOT and now I feel crummy… I want to call him and talk about it but I don’t want to look desperate.. WHY DO MEN DO THIS?!
– A nice loving caring woman who looks for love in all the wrong place.
Obviously for her sake I will not reveal her identity, but I can let you know a couple of FACTS about this young woman: She’s gainfully employed, educated, thick & sexy [beautiful smile & cleavage], fashionable, great sense of humour, better sense of music and LOVES Football which in and of itself [to any man reading this] equates into WIFEY MATERIAL. She is the woman you want to sit down and converse about life with, the woman you want to bring home to your parents and the woman you want to bend over the kitchen counter after a long day of work and put it deep inside her – but she managed to UNDUE all of her positive qualities by making one crucial mistake: She positioned her nani as unattainable, and then subsequently FAILED to live up to her own expectations that she created in the man.
Look, I don’t KNOCK her for getting it in with the man on the first night, because it happened organically, and although I know a lot of self-righteous women are going to come in here and jump to the fallacious assumption that it was the quickness of the sex that led to him bouncing, please understand ladies that you are only half-right, because you are missing the BIGGER issue: If you command respect, a man will respect you however you choose to act [within reason], but if you seem to LIE about who you are, then we are gonna lose said respect.
It’s not about the fact that she gave up the nani quicker than she wanted to, her fatal flaw was that she felt the NEED to communicate to him that she was on some Joan-Clayton-3-month-rule vibe, and after he hit it earlier than HE expected, he felt no other recourse was necessary other than to re-evaluate her wifey-ness. Most men don’t have a problem seriously dating a woman who gives it up quick, but we DO have a problem with women setting one expectation of themselves and then providing another.
The problem originates in the female mind and permeates its way throughout her ego, because women are under the impression that saying sh*t like “Nigga, you gonna have to put AC Green years in, before you can even sniff my panties” is a substantive approach to garnering respect in the man’s eyes, when it DOESN’T. Knowing her good qualities, I GUARANTEE you any man would want to wife this girl up [and I'm notoriously hard on women], but the second her mouth wrote the expensive “access to this nani takes a lot of time” check, and it couldn’t be cashed because that access was given up A LOT faster than SHE said and HE expected, she sabotaged herself.
Now that dude is becoming distant because the potential wife he THOUGHT he was courting turned out to be MUCH too similar to the looseball girls he is use to dating: a shameless SELF-PROMOTER OF SEXUAL SELF-CONTROL – when she is really as much of a freak as he is. But there is also an even BIGGER lesson besides that – trust your OWN damn instincts – because she KNEW sex would ruin things and she just ended up proving herself right.
